Wednesday, October 8, 2014

It started with choc chip biscuits.

Yesterday I posted this photo on Instagram: 

Then I went to basketball with J last night one of the other mums said "Well, where are they?" I was caught a bit off guard so I asked what she was talking about.
"The choc chip biscuits! You can't post pics like that online and then not bring us some!" It was said in a joking tone, so I laughed along a bit. I said maybe I'll bring some along to the next training session. But then came the barb. She rolled her eyes, looked at another mum standing next to me and said "Ok then. You know some of us have been at work all day" and laughed. 
I was a bit taken aback but laughed and said jokingly, "yeah, because I stay at home all day and do nothing, right?" 
 But, I have to admit, it stung a little. People look down on you when you don't work outside the home. They think you're lazy. They think you just swan around and do nothing - paint your nails and go on coffee dates. I've written a couple of posts ago about how happy I am to be a stay at home mum, and how it is working for our family, and how we'll keep doing it as long as possible. But I still feel like I have to justify my status to other mothers. Why are we so hard on other women? We all have choices. Unlike the mother who confronted me last night, I choose to forgo annual overseas holidays, girls weekends away, designer clothes, jewellery, manicures, monthly visits to the hair salon for trendy cuts and colours.......and all sorts of luxuries that many other mums choose to have. I choose to live a quiet, simple life. I choose to put my health above my pay packet. I choose to clean my own house and do my own washing and ironing.  I try not to judge working mums for their choices (I've been a working mum and I understand the juggle) but it seems like people think it's fine to judge the stay at home mum. 
I know in my heart that this is the right choice for our family. So why do I feel defensive when other mother's question my choice? We need to give each other a break.....we're all doing the best we can in our circumstances. We make our choices based on what we value most in life. My choices confirm that I value my husband, my boys and my health above any material possession. That's what matters most to me. 

1 comment:

  1. Don't take it to heart Neet, you are doing a fantastic job and need not defend your choices. It is probably thinly veiled jealously. I work part time as a compromise but would rather be a full time SAHM even now that the children aren't children anymore! There is a lovely satisfaction in being a home maker.

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