There has been a lot happen since my last blog post and I have been taking some time out to recoup and recover. All is OK, but I needed some time out to be with my family - immediate and extended. I will be returning to more frequent blogging this week. But for the time being I wanted to share this article from yesterday's Weekend magazine in the Herald Sun. (Please click on the image for a larger version that you can read).
This article has particular significance to us here in the Meade household this weekend.
Three days into the AFL season:
Richmond lost to Carlton (My Mr and the boys barrack for Richmond)
Hawthorn lost to Adelaide (I barrack for Hawthorn)
and to top it all off, Collingwood thrashed Port Adelaide (we all despise Collingwood!)
This article sums up how we're all feeling about AFL football today......luckily there is always next week ;)
A week into my course and I have had a huge fibromyalgia flare up! Pain++, sleep disturbance, exhaustion, a bit of brain fog.......all the hallmarks of "overdoing it". I had to make a quick decision mid-week to switch to part-time study rather than full time. While to me, it feels like I have stumbled at the first hurdle, My Mr is trying to remind me that it is GOOD that I was able to recognise a major trigger and take action so swiftly. And I know he is right.
I think it is the best option for me to stay well, complete the course and maintain some quality of family life. So it will take me 12 months, rather than 6, to complete the course, but I will get there. I may not ever get further than the Cert. III course, and that is OK. The main purpose of this whole exercise is to get me back to work (only about 8 - 12) hours a week and to work in an industry that allows me to be positive, have fun, care for others and be creative. Not too much to ask.....
So while I lick my wounds and ride out this flare up, I will try to continue taking care of myself and my family. I am committed to keeping up the green smoothies. Here are today's, already made. These have banana, pear, rockmelon, nectarine, silverbeet (heaps!) parsely (just a little bit - it can be a bit overpowering), chia seeds, filtered water, flaxseed oil and a little bit of protein powder and agave nectar. Yummy!
There's one for My Mr and three for me (including the one in the travel mug to take with me in the car if I go out). I am still trying to get my kids into the green smoothie habit. One of my blogging buddies, Sue, has successfully got her cute kiddos on board. Check them out as they tuck into their green smoothies at her blog "Just Me". Good on you Sue!
Thanks to all those who've left healing thoughts on my facebook wall. I will be back in action soon......this I know for sure :)
Late last year I decided that 2011 was going to be a year of moving forward. I have spent the last couple of years just surviving; learning to live with my fibromyalgia. That time at home was essential. I went through some really low points and through various stages - much like the stages of grieving. I was, in effect grieving my "old life". Finally, I reached a point of acceptance that my old life is not returning and I chose to build a new life and move toward the future with hope. I have learned to listen to my body and to respect it.
I have decided to stop stressing about the "will-I-or-won't-I-go-back-to-nursing" dilemma.
Every time I have contemplated going back to nursing, I have had knots in my stomach. When I started planning to start nursing again, I didn't sleep well. I'd have nightmares about being at work, in a chaotic, understaffed ward that was completely out of control. In my nightmares I felt panicked that I was so busy that I was unable to take care of my patients properly, placing their safety at risk. As you might have guessed, it was this sort of stress that lead me to quit my nursing job 2 1/2 years ago, and I believe that this stress contributed significantly to the onset of my illness.
After months and months of beating myself up over not being able to return to nursing I have decided to let it go. I simply cannot take on the stress and responsibility of caring for people in potentially life threatening situations. My health cannot stand up to it.
After much reflection and contemplation I have decided that I need to completely change direction. I want to work again, but in a different field. Looking back at my childhood hopes and dreams, I recalled that, growing up, all I wanted to be was a kindergarten teacher (until I was steered toward nursing in my late high school years). I loved the idea of working with pre-schoolers doing fun and creative work. While I'm yet to see how far I will take this journey, I have started down the path. I have begun my Certificate III in Children's Services at Swinburne TAFE. I will be at TAFE two days per week and on placement in a daycare centre two days per week for the next 6 months. I may or may not continue on to the Diploma of Children's Services or even a graduate diploma in early childhood education at uni. The Cert. III course is my way of "testing the waters". I want to see a). if I really want to work in children's service, b). how my family copes with me no longer being a stay-at-home-mum (SAHM), and c). how my health holds up to the studying/working schedule. It is all a big experiment at this stage, but it is progress. I am moving forwards. I am looking to my future instead of being consumed by illness.
My first week has been really positive. There have been a few issues with timetabling that have been frustrating, but once they are sorted out, I think I will enjoy the student life again (it has been quite a while since I studied!). Practical placement starts in week 4. I'm not sure where I'll be placed yet, but I'm looking forward to getting out there.
